Revelations
by TheLestrangeMistress
Summary: Sirius Black finds something he never thought he would, though it has come at completely the wrong time. Does he have to let go of the one thing he wants more than anything?


"Ok I will see you later Padfoot. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." James Potter said smirking at his friend. He knew full well what would happen tonight. It always does, every time he steps out his front door for a night out... Well you can't blame a single guy. It would be nice to see him with someone who meant more than a quick fix. He wanted him to have what he and Lily have got. Not necessarily a baby right now, but at some point in the next few years.

Sirius walked away from his best friend's house. They had just decided to change the secret keeper from him to Wormtail and he needed drink. He hated talking about all the possibilities about what could happen. He didn't want to think that they could just die. Baby Harry who was only a year old and had the rest of his life ahead of him, not to mention James and Lily. He hoped he had done the right thing in persuading him to change.

A few hours later he was sitting at the end of a muggle bar looking at the girls which filled the room. He had already felt the drink kick in and he knew what would happen next, but was unwilling to stop it. His eyes fell on a young woman with milky white skin and hair as red as fire, she was wearing a teal coloured dress which hugged her figure. She reminded him a little of Lily. He could see her friend whisper something in her ear and she looked over at him and smiled. He smiled back and decided to approach her.

Walking over to her he asked, "Would you like another drink?"

"That would be nice thank you." She replied smoothly. "I didn't catch your name."

"It's Sirius. Sirius Black and yours is...?"

"Roxanne Butler. I preferred to be called Roxie though. You're not from around here are you?"

"No I'm not. How did you know?" Sirius replied feeling nervous. He wondered a moment whether she was a death eater. He then reminded himself why would death eaters drink in a muggle bar when they hate muggles.

"Your accent is different."

As the night progressed on the more they had started to drink. At closing time they stumbled out the bar laughing at nothing in particular. They looked away each other and managed to stop. They were breathing heavily trying to catch their breath when they looked back at each other. They stared into each other's eyes and moved forward so their mouths were close enough to kiss. The look in their eyes said everything and they started kissing and hardly stopped on the whole way home.

They reached her front door and had to wait for a few minutes whilst she found her keys. The door opened with enough force to make it bang on the wall behind it. Tripping over some pairs of shoes they fell onto the floor and started laughing again until they needed to breathe. After a couple of kisses they got up and locked the door. He pulled her close and kissed her. He slid his tongue into her mouth as he backed her against the wall.

He worked his way to her jaw line and kissed it and started to move his way down her neck. She responded by pulling him closer and raking her hands through his long hair. He pulled away and captured her lips once more; he loved the way she tasted like chocolate. The fierceness off their kissing made their lips start to sting and they stopped to catch their breath.

"I think we should go upstairs." She suggested.

"I like that idea." Sirius replied, breathing heavily.

Working their way up the stairs Sirius kept hold of her waist and stroked it with his fingers. Her skin was soft as silk which felt like heaven, her dress was a shield against his desires. She turned around at the top and took his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his.

They stumbled their way to the master bedroom and opened the door forcefully. Their hands moving about trying to familiarise themselves with the other. She led him to the bed and hands were now tugging the clothing off each other. Buttons were flying hard onto the wooden floor; clattering as they reached it. Her dress dropped to the floor and left her standing bare.

As his eyes reached hers, his hands started fiddling with a strand of her hair while his other one stroked her side. The hand which had been fiddling her hair traced her skin to her breast and started to caress it. He stepped forward and kissed her. Unlike the other heated kisses before, this was slow and sensual which made her want him even more. His other hand reached the back of her upper leg and pulled it towards him resting on his hips whilst gently laying her on the bed.

He pulled her other leg around his other hip. His thumb travelled slowly up her thigh which gave her a shiver of pleasure. Her arm wove up and down his back, her nails grazing him slowly. They locked lips once more and their sense of touch heightened. They both felt as if this teasing them as if it was to make them so desperate they didn't think of anything or anyone else. As their breathing began to get heavier they started to moan with pleasure. They wanted this, they needed it.

The next morning Sirius woke up not knowing where he was or who the young woman in his arms was. He couldn't remember her name even though he tried; it was something like Rosie. He berated himself for doing this again. He couldn't remember much about her; all he seemed to remember was that she was kind and funny. Things he had always wanted in a girl along with loyalty, bravery and intelligence.

He stroked her milky white skin; it was as soft as the night before. Looking at her in the dim glow of the sun she looked more like Lily than he originally thought. She started to stir and lifted her head up she turned around and smiled at him. He noticed that she had blue eyes not green ones like Lily.

"Morning." She said with the smile still on her face.

"Morning." He whispered bending over and capturing her lips with a kiss for the thousandth time.

"I have to get ready." She murmured whilst they kissed. "I have an important meeting to go to."

"And I have to go and see some of my friends." Sirius replied.

An hour later they were ready and said goodbye with Sirius promising he would call. They headed in opposite directions each of them thinking about the other. Sirius could hardly concentrate when he was talking about the arrangements with Peter; important arrangements which he couldn't concentrate on.

"What the hell is wrong with you Padfoot? It's like your minds somewhere else." James said with little patience. He already had to repeat the arrangements three times to make sure his friend got them and he still felt like he didn't know everything. "What happened last night or do I not need to ask?"

"The usual." He answered in a tired voice.

"Again? How do you do it mate? Don't you want to settle down and get a girl?" he asked.

"Of course I do and I'm seeing this girl again anyway. She's really nice and it might be able to work. I haven't laughed as much with a girl before, she's so funny. It's not as if either of us planned anything to happen it just did. One moment we were laughing and the next we were kissing."

"Well that's good. I was worried you would never find someone you liked." Lily cut in.

After repeating the arrangement details again with James and Lily he headed home. He had only been home an hour and felt lonely and decided to give Roxanne a call. He changed and apparated to an alley near where she lived. He knocked on her door hoping she was alone. He could hear the sound of music coming out of a muggle record player and then it suddenly stopped. He knocked at the door again just in case she had not heard him the first time. Chains started rattling and the turning of a key caught his ears. The door opened and revealed her to be in a pair of jogging bottoms and a sports top.

"I was bored and thought you might fancy some company."

"Sure, come in." She replied with a smile and stood aside so he could fit through.

He looked around and liked what he saw. She wasn't the tidiest person as there were books piled high in the corner of the room and the cushions were all out of place on the couch. It felt quite homely though, not like where he lived.

He turned around when he heard her talking.

"Do you like it then?"

"It's really nice, better than where I live."

They looked at each other for a while trying to figure out what the other was thinking.

"Take a seat."

"Thanks. What is it you do?"

"I'm a book critic for a newspaper, but a lot of my time is actually spent writing my own stuff. It's quite hard to fit it in with work sometimes. I read about 5 books in a week for it."

"That's too much. Don't get me wrong readings okay, but it's not for me. What kinds of things do you write?" he asked getting more curious with every answer she gave.

"Mainly novels and most about finding something a character has given up or that they don't realise is missing until it's there."

They talked for the rest of the night and got to know each other better. Sirius however, did not reveal that he was a wizard. He wasn't ready for that, and especially with the war going on. He knew he would be a target even more soon. It became so late that Sirius stayed over again though this time they just lay in bed talking until they fell asleep.

The next morning Sirius woke earlier than Roxie. Again he looked at her sleeping, she seemed peaceful and for once he was happy to wake up. He wondered if it was because he woke up next to the same person two mornings in a row or whether it was because he didn't regret anything he had done the night before. With a jolt he realised what James had meant by one day he would wake up and want to be with someone more than anything, and though he barely had begun to know her he thought Roxie was that person.

He knew he had to leave her for a while because of the war. He didn't want to drag her into something she knew nothing about yet. She wouldn't understand why and how dangerous it would be. He would make her a victim if he stayed. He got dressed and then kissed her forehead, leaving a note on her bedside table.

He had to hurt her to protect her. At least it will keep her safe for longer. He would explain everything when he came back to her. When that was he didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted a future with her, like the future James had with Lily. He had never felt like that with anyone before and knew he never would.


End file.
